Womanhood in a Memoir…

I recently read an article on Salon.com (which is where most of my rants and posts come from). This article was discussing the surge in memoirs written by women about their single life. Most are in their late 20s and early 30s. The stories are normal and considered plain and “remarkably unremarkable”. Being only 22 myself, I’m actually intrigued to pick up these books and see what I can possibly expect when I get older.

It’s rather presumptuous of me to assume that I’ll be single throughout the years between now and 30, but at this rate, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Drama comes easy to me (and it’s not because I used to be a theater major) so having one less thing or person to worry about is something I welcome with open arms.

Getting back to the article, the writer states that relationships and men aren’t a focal point in any of these stories.

“The romantic interests here are given no more weight or import, really, than the mothers, fathers, sisters, bosses, roommates, drinking buddies, and Bridezilla girlfriends who give these books and the lives of the women who write them, their shape and rhythm. Perhamps more tellingly, romantic foibles or successes are not treated as a measure of the value off the protagonists’ lives, a circumstance that is so recent an yet now so common that we forget how disruptive to the social order it still is.”

Social order? I’m sorry but when I think of “social order” I think of what I’m supposed to be as a woman (a wife, a mother, and quiet) rather than what I want to be (career oriented, helpful, and express my opinion). My immediate desires in life are to be financially independent, helping women in my field, and adopting children later on. Having a relationship could fall in there if it happens, but I’m not that kind of girl who has planned out her whole wedding since she was a little girl. Having a relationship with someone would be great, but for now I’ll just live vicariously through my friends and the drama they have.

These books are apparently all about “disappointment”. Well, no surprise there. Nobody is completely satisfied or happy with their lives even if they get everything they ever wanted. The grass is always greener on the other side so to speak. With media still pressing onto women that their ultimate goal in life is to have a perfect relationship from movies to crappy television, these books seem to go against the grain. It expresses that we have other goals and ambitions and they unfortunately aren't all met. The end of the article summed up what purpose these books serve which is to tell the world “women can do and what we want to do; they serve as a valuable record of simply what we do.” I like that we have books expressing the complicated life women lead and not having a relationship (whether it’s a man or a woman) be the main theme. It’s truthful and honest. Not every single girl’s life is like Sex and the City.